hours before my white christmas.

i didn't think christmas would come this soon. i honestly made some decent efforts to start my christmas shopping a week ahead this year but apparently, there's something in me which repels punctuality. force of nature, i call it. despite having all the gifts in my room, they are all cluttered in paper bags, none wrapped, none with a personal touch. knowing me, i rather be late then present a friend with a less than perfect gift. it's not an excuse, it's a legitimate reason, at least to me.

christmas this year may seem quiet, but there's this other tinge of positive difference. my lord seems exceptionally real to me this christmas. i can sense his presence & warmth. christmas is not just a festive, it's a day where i will lay here, admiring the grace of my sovereign lord in gentle sweetness.

racer.

love is uncontrollable.

you fall..........and just continue falling.......

zero velocity.

i've been losing concentration of late. i lose focus and am now clueless about my own emotions. i don't seem to know love, i seem to just go along with the flow.

maybe it's because i'm seriously lack of sleep.
maybe it's because of christmas.
maybe love is just too profound to be understood.

my head's frozen. i shan't think further,
the only clear thought in my head is that i'm so fortunate, i'm so blessed.

thank you for loving me.

annual review.

i often slip into contentment and be oblivious of how my life has been rolling on. i blindly live, carrying with me the possessions of my life, thankful to be loved and to love, thankful to be held highly by my lord. i do get harassed by negativities but they usually pass as soon as they come. i do have regrets. i do get angry over foolish unimportant things and i do say mean things to people i never meant to hurt, knowing well that apologies do not erase spoken words.

therefore i resolve, to be a better person, in every way within my means.
i'll get my resolution list out by new year eve. & if i do manage that, it may mean good riddance, my procrastination.

wish me luck!

paralysis preferred

crippled, i've fallen to an all-low state of mind. temperature rising, i'm starting to suspect there's a conspiracy, the world against the three green beings here today, me inclusive.

i rather be paralysed, numb my frustrations.
please inject the greens with anesthetics.
we, the greens seek peace.

i count myself lucky, i will contact the doctor to jab the other two greens with higher dosages of anesthetics. let us be addicts. we need anesthetics in our everyday life. it's survival.

change the track.

words fail me when i'm at peace with the human race of this society. my voice fades away, this is a phenomenon. i seem to have accepted the strangest of things and joined their clan. afterall, look at what i'd done. i stormed one foot right into my pigs' home and freaked the hell outta them. is it my subconscious aspiration to be a t-rex? i'm warped. i have to learn to walk on two, all over again.

routines bore me. even my words reek of boredom. it's no fun getting up at 7am every monday to friday, journey to the same place, pine for the arrival of 6pm, then hop home happily for dinner. i should try something new tomorrow. like arrive at work at 12noon then leave in ten explaining that it's a must that i catch the final episode my favorite afternoon sitcom, and get fired. this may spice up my life a little, you think?

dark temptations.

i'm the crowd who sits here in pitch darkness, watching that theatre play on stage. the actors breathe life and fire but where lies the truth? the party masks glitter in the night. i glare right into his eyes. i feel i do not know him. i run away from the snarls i get, yet those eyes watch me as i walk in the light.

sometimes, i get lost and wish to fade in that darkness on the other side but light draws me like no other.

i choose to be different, i choose to shine. no one can change me. your words will not make me falter, they only make me stronger.

trials, are what God uses to make me grow. and i shall glow in His light.

thinking thrice.

okay, i've given this issue more than three moments of my life to think, and rethink, to consider and reconsider. and here i am, thinking about it again. i'm in a carousel.

march? melbourne? moomba fest! YAY!

vanity fair.

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.
--Henry David Thoreau

turbulence of a rock star.

the saturday crowd measured 8.5 on the richter scale. it makes me lose my stance and just frantically wants to hurry home and hide in seclusion. i'm the hermit who adventurously went into the zone where millions co-existed, and survived it. i fought the battle bravely, all for the force that kept my feet in town today- the rock star. don't ask me who that is. i am silent. go check that out yourself at paragon the coming saturday night.

meanwhile, i've once again burnt out. i'm now ashes and dust.

sweep me up in a dustpan and i may just make it to see tomorrow.

on my own.

i didn't think i would write again.
afterall, i'm simply warped these days, and i'm on drip.
drip content: 100% laziness.

i'm thankful for the invention of the television because i know my lazy bones will never make it to kallang to catch the idols. furthermore, i'd my dignity to preserve. you'll not catch me with those pink sly fans. i love pink. it's my favorite color of this season. but still, i'm cooler than that. taufik is such a star. i can't help but love his eyes. he makes me addicted to eyeliner.

the sound of wedding bells last saturday is still setting in. i'm not in denial that my dear friend is now a mrs, it just tends to slip my mind most of the time. afterall, the times our daily garb was the gd ol' smart college uniform and tie didn't seem too long ago! okay, now i'm starting to reside in denial mode.

current status: i'm a flat-out battery.

i'd used the last bit of zest i had to scream over taufik, to vote for taufik, to admire the beauty of my sparkling new baby ipod, and to get to today.

i need a recharge. charge me.

sticky tag.

a sticky habit that i've got,
to sound saddened in my words,
even when im happy.
it's that poetic twin of me acting up.

i've to confess,
that i'm in bliss,
that i'm loved,
that i'm not alone,
that i'm blessed.

that i'm lucky,

and i know it.

hassle me.

i fail to please.

i simply fail to please.

call it art, or life.

billions put on masks of colors,
of textures,
breathing each day with ease in disguises.

pretence, seems addictive,
you become someone else.
yet it never comes close to my heart.
it just lingers and thrives around me,
till the day i drown in it.

fading colors.

my colors are washed out,
with a vague recollection of the jovial pink hues & yellow in my life just yesterday.

i trailed, and discovered,
it may just be the side effects of the routinely working schedules.
they are getting to me,
they are acting on me.

i need to run,
run free in the open.

i call this contentment.

when somebody loves you,
wholeheartedly,
you feel significant,
and that life is certainly worth its every moment.

exit the gloom.

life as the grouch isn't much entertainment.

i'm going to walk the other way,
and see if it's sunshiny down that road.

ciao.

town of silence.

deafened,
by all that silence.

the cats are out,
and the mice are asleep.

it's a dead town.

my pink psychiatrist.

think strawberry milk will help?

gulp,
gulp.

yummy.

an encounter with the octopus.

i met an octopus today,
one that uses only two of his eight legs.

strange octopus he is,
one i wish i'd never met.

i hope tomorrow comes soon,
pls.
i've an appointment with mr.octopus today,
can u sense my torment?

i need today to pass.

i need to see a psychiatrist.

lonely tuesday.

i see it.

a lonely tuesday is lurking round the corner,

Mary Tuesday, the only memory boost to aid my constant thoughts-retention failure, is off to scenic venice,
without me!

the loneliness is getting to me, already.

and it's only sunday.

mary tuesday.

formally announcing to all,
my canon baby is named Mary Tuesday.

and yes, it's a she.

history.

my heart stopped beating for as long as it could,
without killing me.

haunting history.

party time baby!

while the cats are away, the mice are out to play!

happy barbie.

barbie loves sinking her pearlie white teeth into the crunchy famous amos cookies.

& barbie now awaits her beloved ken to bring her on a dinner date to kfc!

the malibu barbie is now a very happy barbie.

i'm barbie.

i was in for a change,
there was a calling, for the generic punk to take over.

yet i just caught a glimpse of a sparkling new barbie in the polished mirror,
peeping back at me.

the ants are getting to me,
i'm now the malibu barbie.

why did the punk go missing?
the scissors killed the punk.
or is it yet another crime of the genes?

nostalgic toasts.

i'm the master chef of french toasts,
the only edibles i can whip up in under 15 minutes.

nostalgia,

my first home economics class was probably the only that i'd ever attended.

oddballs.

nerve-wrecking.

i refuse to converse with oddballs.

i'm gonna build that wall,
keep off me.

outlandish folks.

my precious pigs must keep it up with their svelte frames.

some outlandish peruvian folks feast on them, sense my nausea.

those eccentric peruvian researchers have successfully bred fleshier guinea pigs which they plan to market globally as another source of meat!

i'm distressed.

i'm about to become vegetarian.

the patriotic side of me.

i patriotically said no to italy.

i said no to italy?
i did?

and so, i'll be joining the rest of singapore in the jovial congestions of deepavali and hari raya puasa.

did i?
i really did say no to italy?
this must be yet another disturbing nightmare.

pinch me.

muffins, anyone?

chocolate muffins make me happy,
i love muffins.

a shopaholic's lunch.

lunch was sinfully fulfilling,
i'm the gleaming proud owner of three new Archies.

desire of an android.

even androids crave to live.

the android who wears a bangle.

i love bangles.

i feel naked without them.

i'm an android who wears a bangle, a happy android who just grinned her way through the shopaholic indulgence of two bangles, with absolute pride & joy.

i love bangles.

androids.

are androids happy?

in retrospect, i can, with certainty, say i'm a life-form.
yet the past months seem to suggest that i'm an android.

i'm in awe, i'm the gypsy with her amber-tinted, quartz crystal ball.
i prophesy that my closely shut eyes will be awaken for the next five mornings at 6.45 a.m..

the truth finally dawned on me,
i'm an android.

still dotted.

i've genes beyond my own comprehension.

i'm allergic to vegetarian squids? this must be a nightmare, a bewildering one if you ask me.

& yes, polka-dots are still in trend.

dotted

convince me i'll survive.

it's friday, my favorite day yet im strangely swollen. and polka-dots seem to be back in fashion.