hours before my white christmas.

i didn't think christmas would come this soon. i honestly made some decent efforts to start my christmas shopping a week ahead this year but apparently, there's something in me which repels punctuality. force of nature, i call it. despite having all the gifts in my room, they are all cluttered in paper bags, none wrapped, none with a personal touch. knowing me, i rather be late then present a friend with a less than perfect gift. it's not an excuse, it's a legitimate reason, at least to me.

christmas this year may seem quiet, but there's this other tinge of positive difference. my lord seems exceptionally real to me this christmas. i can sense his presence & warmth. christmas is not just a festive, it's a day where i will lay here, admiring the grace of my sovereign lord in gentle sweetness.

racer.

love is uncontrollable.

you fall..........and just continue falling.......

zero velocity.

i've been losing concentration of late. i lose focus and am now clueless about my own emotions. i don't seem to know love, i seem to just go along with the flow.

maybe it's because i'm seriously lack of sleep.
maybe it's because of christmas.
maybe love is just too profound to be understood.

my head's frozen. i shan't think further,
the only clear thought in my head is that i'm so fortunate, i'm so blessed.

thank you for loving me.

annual review.

i often slip into contentment and be oblivious of how my life has been rolling on. i blindly live, carrying with me the possessions of my life, thankful to be loved and to love, thankful to be held highly by my lord. i do get harassed by negativities but they usually pass as soon as they come. i do have regrets. i do get angry over foolish unimportant things and i do say mean things to people i never meant to hurt, knowing well that apologies do not erase spoken words.

therefore i resolve, to be a better person, in every way within my means.
i'll get my resolution list out by new year eve. & if i do manage that, it may mean good riddance, my procrastination.

wish me luck!

paralysis preferred

crippled, i've fallen to an all-low state of mind. temperature rising, i'm starting to suspect there's a conspiracy, the world against the three green beings here today, me inclusive.

i rather be paralysed, numb my frustrations.
please inject the greens with anesthetics.
we, the greens seek peace.

i count myself lucky, i will contact the doctor to jab the other two greens with higher dosages of anesthetics. let us be addicts. we need anesthetics in our everyday life. it's survival.

change the track.

words fail me when i'm at peace with the human race of this society. my voice fades away, this is a phenomenon. i seem to have accepted the strangest of things and joined their clan. afterall, look at what i'd done. i stormed one foot right into my pigs' home and freaked the hell outta them. is it my subconscious aspiration to be a t-rex? i'm warped. i have to learn to walk on two, all over again.

routines bore me. even my words reek of boredom. it's no fun getting up at 7am every monday to friday, journey to the same place, pine for the arrival of 6pm, then hop home happily for dinner. i should try something new tomorrow. like arrive at work at 12noon then leave in ten explaining that it's a must that i catch the final episode my favorite afternoon sitcom, and get fired. this may spice up my life a little, you think?

dark temptations.

i'm the crowd who sits here in pitch darkness, watching that theatre play on stage. the actors breathe life and fire but where lies the truth? the party masks glitter in the night. i glare right into his eyes. i feel i do not know him. i run away from the snarls i get, yet those eyes watch me as i walk in the light.

sometimes, i get lost and wish to fade in that darkness on the other side but light draws me like no other.

i choose to be different, i choose to shine. no one can change me. your words will not make me falter, they only make me stronger.

trials, are what God uses to make me grow. and i shall glow in His light.

thinking thrice.

okay, i've given this issue more than three moments of my life to think, and rethink, to consider and reconsider. and here i am, thinking about it again. i'm in a carousel.

march? melbourne? moomba fest! YAY!

vanity fair.

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.
--Henry David Thoreau

turbulence of a rock star.

the saturday crowd measured 8.5 on the richter scale. it makes me lose my stance and just frantically wants to hurry home and hide in seclusion. i'm the hermit who adventurously went into the zone where millions co-existed, and survived it. i fought the battle bravely, all for the force that kept my feet in town today- the rock star. don't ask me who that is. i am silent. go check that out yourself at paragon the coming saturday night.

meanwhile, i've once again burnt out. i'm now ashes and dust.

sweep me up in a dustpan and i may just make it to see tomorrow.

on my own.

i didn't think i would write again.
afterall, i'm simply warped these days, and i'm on drip.
drip content: 100% laziness.

i'm thankful for the invention of the television because i know my lazy bones will never make it to kallang to catch the idols. furthermore, i'd my dignity to preserve. you'll not catch me with those pink sly fans. i love pink. it's my favorite color of this season. but still, i'm cooler than that. taufik is such a star. i can't help but love his eyes. he makes me addicted to eyeliner.

the sound of wedding bells last saturday is still setting in. i'm not in denial that my dear friend is now a mrs, it just tends to slip my mind most of the time. afterall, the times our daily garb was the gd ol' smart college uniform and tie didn't seem too long ago! okay, now i'm starting to reside in denial mode.

current status: i'm a flat-out battery.

i'd used the last bit of zest i had to scream over taufik, to vote for taufik, to admire the beauty of my sparkling new baby ipod, and to get to today.

i need a recharge. charge me.