my room is a classic museum if one was ever keen to read my life as a book, on a random sunday morning. a large collection of my belongings are wildly consumed by dust/camouflaged by rust/invisible. while many used to mean the world to me, most are now memories solely for reminiscence purposes (aged people have this bad habit. i heard it makes them feel younger).
anyway, enough said, it is time for springcleaning!
trash evacuation!
Thursday, June 30, 2005
wagging that tongue.
spoken/written words can never be vacuumed back into your regretful throat. even an ocean of penitence, served along with a platter of sincere sorriness can retreat no hurt that has been inflicted. physical wounds tarnish the beauty that the vastly superficial world desires, but it is the emotional slap on the broken heart that cries and bleeds.
true enough, healing is always possible, but the process is hardly ever painless or effortless, and scarring can sometimes be a permanent.
for countless times, i had spoken/written words to burn, to spite, to anger, to break, to judge, to hurt. that tongue, when controlled by the ferocious mean monster, is nothing short of a destructive warhead. how i wish my tongue is a purified white angel, holy holy.
for those who are starting to worry about what crazy drama had happened over the weekend, or what garbage did i spout and am now grinding my teeth desperately to chew them into minced non-existence, well nothing much happened really; at least none that measured a minimum 6 on my richter scale.
it is however, a minor weekend affair that got me thinking about misbehaved tongues; and my current amazement at the crowded local blogging scene that litted this entry.
i am quite an isolated blogger, contented to blog in this quiet secluded blog which entertains few/sometimes no readers. i have no desire to seek fame. i write senseless nothings of zero/near-zero entertainment value; sometimes random words which string together to become total incoherence, sometimes poems which express my serious thoughts despite coming across as gibberish talk to others, sometimes self-centric paragraphs about myself, myself and myself. in short, this blog is so private that it probably holds significance only to myself, and a few others (i am trying hard to count beyond my thumb).
reading about some local bloggers in the papers got me doing some surfing, reading and thinking. there is this emerging trend that blogs are slowly shedding its identity of being online journals. they are now quarterly like forums, or jigsaw puzzles that help strangers/friends/anyone piece (read: judge) your personality.
famous local bloggers seem to get their peace wrecked quite abit. the sarong party girl removed her debatable pictures, xiaxue received hate mails for voicing out her personal opinions; i guess the list goes on, but i really do not know that much about the local blogging community and this little knowledge is enough for me to not want to probe further.
everyone has beliefs, values et cetera which they hold onto firmly, yet we have a tendency to force our opinions on others, forgetting the very basic principle of respect. words can torment anyone, loved ones, friends or strangers. we can sometimes be a little too quick to judge, to comment, to advise, to criticize. we tend to think our perspectives are right, and conclude too adamantly that every other person's views are foolish/wrong/immature/unacceptable. what often happens next is that, we are overly generous with our so-called honest opinions and end up being harsh and hurtful.
i guess, all i wanted to say in this long and obviously-too-lengthy entry, is that it is perfectly fine to be straightforward, feel free to articulate your thoughts, but there is never a need to be unkind. well, having said this, i hope to tame my misbehaved tongue.
and to all bloggers, since all of us blog for various diverse reasons, i hope all of you guys survive well, in respective manners. as for me, this little lonely bubble is keeping me very fine, and happy.
true enough, healing is always possible, but the process is hardly ever painless or effortless, and scarring can sometimes be a permanent.
for countless times, i had spoken/written words to burn, to spite, to anger, to break, to judge, to hurt. that tongue, when controlled by the ferocious mean monster, is nothing short of a destructive warhead. how i wish my tongue is a purified white angel, holy holy.
for those who are starting to worry about what crazy drama had happened over the weekend, or what garbage did i spout and am now grinding my teeth desperately to chew them into minced non-existence, well nothing much happened really; at least none that measured a minimum 6 on my richter scale.
it is however, a minor weekend affair that got me thinking about misbehaved tongues; and my current amazement at the crowded local blogging scene that litted this entry.
i am quite an isolated blogger, contented to blog in this quiet secluded blog which entertains few/sometimes no readers. i have no desire to seek fame. i write senseless nothings of zero/near-zero entertainment value; sometimes random words which string together to become total incoherence, sometimes poems which express my serious thoughts despite coming across as gibberish talk to others, sometimes self-centric paragraphs about myself, myself and myself. in short, this blog is so private that it probably holds significance only to myself, and a few others (i am trying hard to count beyond my thumb).
reading about some local bloggers in the papers got me doing some surfing, reading and thinking. there is this emerging trend that blogs are slowly shedding its identity of being online journals. they are now quarterly like forums, or jigsaw puzzles that help strangers/friends/anyone piece (read: judge) your personality.
famous local bloggers seem to get their peace wrecked quite abit. the sarong party girl removed her debatable pictures, xiaxue received hate mails for voicing out her personal opinions; i guess the list goes on, but i really do not know that much about the local blogging community and this little knowledge is enough for me to not want to probe further.
everyone has beliefs, values et cetera which they hold onto firmly, yet we have a tendency to force our opinions on others, forgetting the very basic principle of respect. words can torment anyone, loved ones, friends or strangers. we can sometimes be a little too quick to judge, to comment, to advise, to criticize. we tend to think our perspectives are right, and conclude too adamantly that every other person's views are foolish/wrong/immature/unacceptable. what often happens next is that, we are overly generous with our so-called honest opinions and end up being harsh and hurtful.
i guess, all i wanted to say in this long and obviously-too-lengthy entry, is that it is perfectly fine to be straightforward, feel free to articulate your thoughts, but there is never a need to be unkind. well, having said this, i hope to tame my misbehaved tongue.
and to all bloggers, since all of us blog for various diverse reasons, i hope all of you guys survive well, in respective manners. as for me, this little lonely bubble is keeping me very fine, and happy.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
tunnel of that traveler.
loneliness of a traveler,
lonelily, lonelily.
to question the living world,
to disbelieve, to understand.
to fight,
to compromise,
to despair,
to hope,
to isolate.
then walk on to lose all that shouting thoughts,
tears,
and scramblings,
only to be an average societal soul,
for yet another two burning laps,
on the familiarly packed charcoaled track.
lonelily, lonelily.
to question the living world,
to disbelieve, to understand.
to fight,
to compromise,
to despair,
to hope,
to isolate.
then walk on to lose all that shouting thoughts,
tears,
and scramblings,
only to be an average societal soul,
for yet another two burning laps,
on the familiarly packed charcoaled track.
Friday, June 24, 2005
her green fingers.
mum dashes out of her bedroom in a flustered whirlwind, late for an appointment.
"DADDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!"
i, being ever so helpful, poked my itchy nose in.
"what? pa is in the room."
"HELP ME WATER THE PLANTS!!!!!!!!!"
struggling with her shoes while the keys jiggle in her hands.
raises my brows
"plants? aren't they dead?"
"BUT MUST STILL WATER!! WATER FOR ME OKAY??!"
BAMM. the heavy wooded door has shut itself. silence.
grumbles to self.
"so she is really not giving up till the plants are stark naked."
shrugs.
"DADDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!"
i, being ever so helpful, poked my itchy nose in.
"what? pa is in the room."
"HELP ME WATER THE PLANTS!!!!!!!!!"
struggling with her shoes while the keys jiggle in her hands.
raises my brows
"plants? aren't they dead?"
"BUT MUST STILL WATER!! WATER FOR ME OKAY??!"
BAMM. the heavy wooded door has shut itself. silence.
grumbles to self.
"so she is really not giving up till the plants are stark naked."
shrugs.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
random blog-fillers.
1.out pops another wedding invite from my mail, throwing me into a much dreaded shopping frenzy; but there is no escape. my wardrobe happens not to be, so hmmm wedding-friendly. shrugs.
2.i finally gave mum her mother's day gift, on father's day.
3.my other half more than makes up for my lacking in culinary talent. he whipped up an awesome awesome dinner last night; better-than-nydc baked pasta, sinfully peppery roast chicken and melt-in-your-mouth 100% homemade mash potatoes. jughead would love you baby, i tell ya, but hurrays, you are mine mine, all mine.
4.i am feeling slightly vexed and troubled over something, but this is not worth mentioning. i figure the more i talk about it, the more the gloomy blues consumes me. i really should sulk less, and pray more.
5.cracker is supposed to visit the vet two weeks back. i am so going to get scolded.
6.oh, and i finally went to the very famous maxwell food market for the first time last sunday! i am not absolutely certain, but it may also be my very first time having fish meat bee hoon (i do not recall having had fish meat bee hoon, but i have a vague recollection of some sort of noodles with a soup base that looks beigey and creamy too. any other noodles with that sort of base? or is it deja vu acting up? well, probably.). it ain't too bad, but i think i seriously need to work on my chopstick skills. chopsticks is such an impairment, it makes me slower than the queen of tortoises.
2.i finally gave mum her mother's day gift, on father's day.
3.my other half more than makes up for my lacking in culinary talent. he whipped up an awesome awesome dinner last night; better-than-nydc baked pasta, sinfully peppery roast chicken and melt-in-your-mouth 100% homemade mash potatoes. jughead would love you baby, i tell ya, but hurrays, you are mine mine, all mine.
4.i am feeling slightly vexed and troubled over something, but this is not worth mentioning. i figure the more i talk about it, the more the gloomy blues consumes me. i really should sulk less, and pray more.
5.cracker is supposed to visit the vet two weeks back. i am so going to get scolded.
6.oh, and i finally went to the very famous maxwell food market for the first time last sunday! i am not absolutely certain, but it may also be my very first time having fish meat bee hoon (i do not recall having had fish meat bee hoon, but i have a vague recollection of some sort of noodles with a soup base that looks beigey and creamy too. any other noodles with that sort of base? or is it deja vu acting up? well, probably.). it ain't too bad, but i think i seriously need to work on my chopstick skills. chopsticks is such an impairment, it makes me slower than the queen of tortoises.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
jack in the box.
sometimes, out of nowhere, you find a piece of your past. it lingers around in a silent whisper, maybe in that cluttered drawer, maybe in that dusty brown bag you have long stopped favoring. and as we speak, jack in the box of memories pops out, taking you by surprise, and questions you if your today is better than that yesterday.
so, do you miss that yesterday? jack presses me to answer.
i shook my head, though not wanting to offend.
i am thankful for all my yesterdays, and i have not stripped them of their worth. but they have passed and i now, in my hands, hold a God-given bag filled with overpouring love, happiness and a bleaming bright future.
yesterdays cannot co-exist with todays. and having said that, i shall press on with all my todays to find the sunshiny tomorrows, leaving yesterdays in their beautiful boxes of faded letters, and jaded promises.
so, do you miss that yesterday? jack presses me to answer.
i shook my head, though not wanting to offend.
i am thankful for all my yesterdays, and i have not stripped them of their worth. but they have passed and i now, in my hands, hold a God-given bag filled with overpouring love, happiness and a bleaming bright future.
yesterdays cannot co-exist with todays. and having said that, i shall press on with all my todays to find the sunshiny tomorrows, leaving yesterdays in their beautiful boxes of faded letters, and jaded promises.
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