darkening dark circles.

my holiday is almost coming to an end and i am still facing the same old wacky problem.

i had been yawning and tired since 10 p.m. and yet, i am still awake now, at 2 a.m.

what's the logic? i probably need a sweet lullaby to lure my warped and awake cells into slumber.

good riddance.

the garden of roses you gave last christmas bloomed into a house of sharp thorns.

ain't it funny to do a spring-clean and end up stuffing yourself into the trash bag, rolling yourself into the chute? but well, that happens.

what's in an expiry date?

munching happily on a hongkong's ever renowned 'wife biscuit' specially flown in by my aunt, i find myself pausing for a moment now amidst the chewing.

below states what's printed on the exquisite golden-rimmed packaging.

best before:
dd/mm/yy
$ 4.50

now tell me, what's in an expiry date?
price?

remembering his name.

they remember his name. he slips in with such ease, like the way i fit into the crowd. you are family now, my love. i know it when they call you by your name.

question and answer.

'why is it only now that i find out about this?', i keep asking myself.

why not earlier? things could have been vastly different.
for good or bad, i do not know. by a typical human's perceptions, it would have been many tonnes easier. it saves time and money, and we can move on to living our dreams sooner.

but, God, you allow this to happen. so needless to say, there is a purpose behind this. so let me move on from this and God, lead me to the right path that i should take, please. i am really rather tired from thinking.

decision jury.

the left fights the right, while the right kicks back with no reserve. my head is getting dizzy from the constant bickering arguments and debates. i have heard enough reasons, excuses, fears, concerns, practical and impractical options. all coming from me, myself and i am about to punch myself in the face, the decision jury in my head is fighting its guts inside out.

do i list the pros and cons, do some math and conclude?
do i follow what makes me happy?
do i take the 99.9% safe and predictable path?
do i take a vote and just do a count?
i know i should simply follow God. i am ignorant, while He is my wise counsellor.

God, guide me? well, i know God is already guiding me. i am just not focusing enough to see. i am misplaced by personal fears, and earthly worries. trust, have faith, pray. God will always give me the best. all i have to do is to open my arms and receive. if i do not even dare to walk through this opened door, how do i receive His blessings?

all these are easy to say, yet hard to place into practice. but i hope i will be able to place my life in His hands, and stop fighting to take control. sometimes, all i have to do is follow Him. oh God, let me see, and i will surely follow after you.

get well soon.

my heels makes a visit to the doctor after spending barely ninety minutes at work. the only good out of this is the natural slumping into bed after the doses of medicines. i do not usually sleep well, but i slept for four straight hours earlier. my body must have really needed this rest.

i am spinning my magic wand a million rounds, let the medicines get my health back in order. my skin is not pale, but my body is certainly not in tip top condition. the doctor is expecting to see me in a week's time for a review, and i am hesistant about it. if my stomach's condition does not improve by then, i will be sent for a scan. and so, i shall spin my wand many times more, churning words into prayers.

stomach, get well soon. take care.

dad the monkey.

i watch suspiciously as dad walks in cheekily through that door.

'who are they? your friends?' dad asks mum, as he takes a glance at the four formally-dressed vietnamese ladies seated elegantly at our green couch, along with a finger-pointing gesture.

mum, totally wide-eyed, returns dad with a disapproving look, then dad bursts out laughing as his friends look at him, all stunned in bewilderment.

too often, i wonder when my dad will grow up.
but i guess, never.

late night friday.

crippled all week thanks to the compulsory early nights and premature rude awakenings, i have finally arrived at my favorite day of the week, friday. after being whiney and grumbling for five consecutive nights about having to sleep early to get up early, i can finally dump that early bird into the bin with a smirk. it is such joy to be happily typing away at two a.m, with no worries about waking up the next morning with puffy eyes, looking like an authentic furry china panda. it is the weekend for goodness sake, i can look like a panda/koala/whatever if i want to.

oddly, i am awake not because i want to surf the internet or to chat. neither is it the need to blog, before my brain's hard disk crashes, and please do not even think that it is insomnia. i am dead tired at this moment, and my eyes are giving way. but i insist on sleeping late/later because it is friday! this calls for a celebration. and so, here i am, scribbling my thoughts by typing furiously, as i struggle to keep my heavy eyes open. weekends are precious, i will simply refuse to give the night away to sleep.