ballooning away.

bottling up these days, i find myself ballooning away. i have turned silent, and my smiles are becoming few. i cannot say that i am not happy, that would be a lie. but i know something is odd about myself. something is creeping up my back. it is either the boredom that is driving me paranoid, or fear that is making me blow through the roof.

i feel i am on the outside of the glass, looking into your world. i can see everything, but i feel left out. i feel very much alone. i am the spectator, i do not live the same life. i feel isolated, and i do not know to rejoice or to grieve.

should i join the school of fish, and swim in the packed polluted ocean?
or should i continue living the contented fairytale life in my fish tank?

of course everyone will label me an ignorant idealistic child. but i guess, all i wanted was to dream, and live a dream. maybe all i wanted, was a fish tank as huge as the seas, clean and free for all to swim happily ever after. or maybe i am a tiny fish in the big blue ocean with a calling, to stand up for a pollution-free ocean?

blop, blop. bubble. till i find my answer, i shall continue swimming.

kitchen store.

mum picks up the phone, obviously occupied with her telly.

ma, do we have any lettuce at home?

lettuce? what is lettuce?

lettuce? the one the pigs always eat, that is lettuce. argh, nevermind. can you see if we have potatoes?

alright, i will check. (fumbling noises.) ya, we have potatoes.

okay, how many?

one.

one? argh. nevermind, forget about it. do we have any food at home at all?

ya, we have. onions. we have two onions.

silence.

drip drip drenched.

i am all soaked in His blessings!

clover shower.

prayers are always answered in God's own manner. whatever the outcome, we rest assured that it is always with the best intentions He has for us. in this walk of life, faith in Him is essential.