i claim to embrace His grace and love. i do, actually. but now, fears crawl up to me and consume my presence, and every hope.
i am usually glowing in confidence. even if i am at the deep end of the valley, i know i am good and that i am capable of excellence. yet, i am starting to look down at the grounds. the glory fades away, leaving me in subtle tears. silence, being the only living that i feel comfortable with.
i ask, i seek, i ask, i seek, i ask again, and there i seek again. this is not a game of hide and seek. i plead to know the direction that i should walk. i could weep, i could scream, it could almost be agony. i look in the mirror, what is becoming of me?
faith? i have to cling onto it. oh please do not tear my hands away.
straight path? did He not give to me? or did i just not see? are monetary issues the root of everything? i know they are worth nothing more than the thin bark of trees. so why is it groping onto me?
i am sinking into quicksand already. i can spend twenty four hours thinking, or even a week in thoughts. but i still find no answer. or maybe, the answer has been carved out on my forehead. maybe you could read and tell me? i feel lost, and disillusioned.
i am not of any calibre to be an adult. inside me, i hear the screams of a child tired of living in the costume of a retired teenager. i am almost falling to my knees. oh correct me, i am already on my knees.
oh Lord, please guide me. You are the counsellor of my life. for the wisdom that is unfound in me, oh Lord please fill my questions with answers, please shake the doubts into nothingness. in this maze of life, where my world sometimes reeks of conformity, please use me to glorify Your name. i seek to glorify Your name in all that i do. please lead me to the path of Your will.
oh Lord, please hear my pleas.
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2 comments:
Hi dear, I guess the real calling of God is not to a certain place or career, but to everyday obedience. And that call is extended to every christian, not a select few. Then as we follow His everyday call, He opens doors to where He wants us to go and closes doors to where He does not wants us to go. That way, faithfulness to God's calling is within our reach everyday, and life becomes an adventure as we obey His Word and walk through the doors HE has opened for us. I pray for the working out of His will in your life and situation, and I pray against every evil force that opposes His will, Amen. take care dear. *hughugz* =)
Hi, you had quoted matt 6:30 in one of your posts. Let's not forget the verse that followed- But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.- matt 6:33
It is good to have faith in the Lord, but equally important to seek Him first before all else.
It is easy to blame Him when things go wrong,but we have to realise that God's purpose for our lives, more often than not, is not what we thought it is. (In fact, it's much better!) Hence,it is important to be still and listen to what God wants us to do, rather than to ask God to give us what we want.
You need to have faith, God will never shortchange you.
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